Living in the Pause

Wanting life to pause to savor each moment, I wanted to take the batteries out of my clocks and halt their ever-ticking. Like many teenagers, I was caught in the whirlwind of grades, social dynamics, and the constant worry about the future. I found myself trying to understand how to balance both time and the intricacies of life throughout my high school years. Having the desire to feel the very nature of being human and grasp the essence of existence, I ventured on a life-changing journey. During this search, I decided I needed to rediscover a part of myself that was hidden.

I vacationed on a farm in Tiruvannamalai, Tamil Nadu, India this past summer, where I spent two weeks living in a way that was far from my daily life. In this rustic setting, I encountered a world barren of modern-day comforts: no air conditioning, electricity, news, and phones. While trekking miles through the fields of tall grass, with only the difference in the position of the sun to track our time, it was as if time had truly stopped. My daily routine at the farm was quite the contrast to the haste of my high school years: waking with the sun from our floor beds, greeting peacocks while escaping snakes, hiking the local mountains with newfound monkey friends, showering with half a bucket of cold water, plucking herbs or the brightest dragon fruit off of the cacti, and grinding grain for every meal. 

During this time of simplicity and isolation, I discovered what it meant truly to be human. The absence of worldly problems and distractions for two weeks allowed me to experience life like never before, and my questions about life were answered naturally. The truth I found is a lifelong gift that stirs a desire for continuous learning and self-discovery. It serves as a beacon of clarity in a world clouded by uncertainty and propels me to strive toward the ideal of being a world citizen. For the first time, I felt like I was living with a purpose and I realized that the most profound goals were not my grades, plans, or appearances. Rather, they are understanding myself, living life to the fullest, and mining the hidden spark within me. Overall, this experience provided me with a deeper understanding of myself, a redefined set of values, and helped me grow as a more empathetic and purpose-driven individual, guiding my choices and actions in a meaningful way that will have a lasting impact on both my personal and professional life.

Leaving my sabbatical, I shifted my focus to execute this standard: keeping my community, wherever I was, a lovely and happy place. Seeking knowledge and self-discovery is a noble ambition, one that makes me a better individual of the world. Doing this, I feel a sense of purpose in spreading positivity within my community, wherever it is that I find myself. My time on the farm was certainly transformative and allowed me to pause and reflect. Being one with the dirt and local inhabitants of the acres grounded me, and showed a beauty I cannot put into words: the beauty of life and existence. Having experienced indescribable happiness without material items or worldly matters, I discovered that life is not about momentary desires, but about embracing the beauty of humanity. This has become my guiding principle, one that I am committed to upholding in my interactions with the world. My experience on the farm in Tiruvannamalai was more than just a retreat; it was a revelation of life and myself. This journey has left an indelible mark on me, and I carry its lessons with me as I continue to explore, grow, and contribute to the world around me by embracing the wondrous nature of being human.